Cold Harbor

by Steven Gellman

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bombadil7
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bombadil7 In the liner notes Steven says he doesn’t want to say too much about the songs, he’d prefer they tell the story themselves. So I won’t say much either except that they are perfect for the times. They spoke to me.
I’m sorry there wasn’t a fun release party but I’m glad Steven released the CD now. I think you will be too.
ajdurbor
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ajdurbor I've been fortunate to hear the full album in advance and let me you, it's an auditory journey you won't want to miss. I was in tears by the last song. This album gave me all the feels. My top pick is A Quiet Life.
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1.
Lucky 03:43
Therapy won’t help you, so don’t even try All you need is three chords & the truth, you’ll be alright An insatiable hunger, for rhythm and rhyme Just sing those songs you love, and everything will fall in line You want to be lucky, lucky in life? You can be lucky, it’s a good life! It’s been an uphill battle, you’ve been fighting all your life And I know you’re tired, but you’re truly strong inside And you may not think so, but just look to all the signs You’ve weathered many, many the storm & come out better the other side You want to be lucky, lucky in life? You're already lucky, lucky, that’s right! One step at a time. You can win this fight Remember, depression lies! So go, and live, a happy life You’ve got this tattooed star, the reason only you know why It will be your shining light; it can be your one true guide If you can find the courage, self doubt is a true landmine You’re a rockstar! You can be anything you like You can be lucky, lucky in life You can be lucky and It’s a good life! You want to be lucky, lucky in life? You can be lucky! It’s a good, good, good, good life!
2.
Family 03:52
In a crowded room, I feel alone In a lonely room, I feel at home In a family room, I don’t feel known So I look down and check my phone With a smile, they ask me how I’ve been I say I’m fine, with that expected grin I wonder why they don’t understand me Even though, we’re called a family Would you choose me; would I choose you When you see green and I feel blue You’ll show up for me, and me for you Because we’re family and that’s what families do You know, we don’t talk on the phone And most of you, have never seen my home We don’t do lunch, but we al-ways Schedule brunch on the holidays Would you choose me; would I choose you When you see green and I feel blue You’ll show up for me, and me for you Because we’re family and that’s what families do
3.
Last night I dreamed of old Ireland, it had been such a long, long while I was running through the Wicklow hills & I was laughing, like a child The sky was a purple hue & the air so sweet & mild I woke up from my dream & I couldn’t help but smile, It’s been ten long years since we left that emerald isle A wedding, a honeymoon, a trip of a lifetime, what I wouldn’t give to be back there at your side In Ireland, dear old Ireland Walking on the banks of the river Boyne, make a wish, toss in a coin Later on, back at the B&B, a turf fire & toast & tea Strolling the paths in St. Stephen’s Green, browsing the shops on Grafton Street We were looking for bookstores, music & some food, a good brown bread & Irish stew Dingle town, it’s a magic place, The Connor Pass lives outside, time & space Driving the pass, in a rare bit of snow, those ancients spoke to us & they put on quite a show In Ireland, dear old Ireland Walking on the banks of the river Boyne, make a wish, toss in a coin Later on, back at the B&B, a turf fire & toast & tea I don’t know, if we will ever get back, but I would like to think we will I left there, a piece of my heart, & it lives there still In Ireland, dear old Ireland Walking on the banks of the river Boyne, make a wish, toss in a coin Later on, back at the B&B, a turf fire, to warm our feet Then we’ll fall asleep with our Irish dreams And in the morning, there be toast & tea
4.
I was an awkward kid, never was good to good at sports, always chosen last, when…choosing sides I had a few close friends, and I guess I did alright, but the other kids weren’t always…so kind So Saturday was like a holiday, for a weird kid like me I’d walk to the 7-Eleven, just this side of heaven, for a comic book & a Slurpee When I would get back home, I’d go straight to my room, with my dog and I... lock my door I’d draw cartoons all day, & listen to records play & read those comic books… on the bedroom floor Now Saturday is a nerd’s holiday, with Saturday morning cartoons Then walking to the 7-Eleven, my little slice of heaven, for a Slurpee with a combination straw/spoon Some kids they played football, others kids they rode their bikes, but me, all I ever wanted to do was... draw Superhero comic books, that was my escape, to big, fantastical... new worlds Now Saturday is still my holiday, though I’m a bit older, a bit grey Now I drink cups of tea & read those books electronically, and reminisce about those days….
5.
The Ocean 04:15
It’s a spooky kind of quiet, winter time at the ocean A once vibrant town, now frozen in, time I watch the sunrise in the east, hover over the water It creates this road of light, to somewhere unseen Maybe it’s to Atlantis, or maybe Middle Earth Possibly another planet, but it’s reveal is short Now it’s snowing on the ocean, like poetry in motion There’s beauty in the commotion, I’m feeling strangely fine Wrapped in layers, I walk this beach, to hear whispers on the wind The sharp air it fills my lungs, & bites my skin It’s painful, yet poignant & I finally start to see The road that’s laid before us, is not always what it seems The snow on the ocean, like poetry in motion Overcome with emotion, I begin to cry I’m feeling all these feelings...peace, love & healing And now I truly know, everything will be alright
6.
There’s something in the way, the light shines through In this dark, dark sky That makes me feel like peace could come, To my weary mind I’m so tired of being tired Under clouds of doom It won't go away, it’s relentless that way If I could only find a way to break through It’s the monster under the bed, it’s the voice in my head I think I’m going crazy I can’t sleep, can’t breathe, gotta run, gotta leave This is my anxiety! Obtuse, and mean, it’s a cancer unseen Everyday a piece of me dies You don’t understand, it’s so out of my hands These secrets are lies It’s the monster under the bed, it’s the voice in my head I think I’m going crazy I can’t sleep, can’t breathe, gotta run, gotta leave This is my anxiety! There’s a monster under the bed, there’s a voice in my head Telling me I’m crazy! I can’t sleep, can’t breathe, gotta run, gotta leave This is my anxiety! But there’s something in the way the light shines through In this dark, dark sky That makes me feel, like peace will come To my weary mind
7.
I like reading books, I like drinking tea The smell of fresh baked bread with thyme & rosemary And I like Netflix, I like movies My La-Z-Boy recliner and my big flat screen TV! But, I love you! Yes, I love you! I like to travel, someday I’ll take a train Across the country, from Washington to Maine And I Like to drive to the beach, and walk on the sand Humming a familiar tune, from some rock & roll band But, I love you! Yes, I love you! ‘Cause you make my grey sky, true blue, I will always love you! I got my priorities straight ‘Cause you are, what makes, this life, so great Even better than, chocolate cake! I like hot sauce, I like spicy food Going to concerts &, getting a tattoo I like music, I like guitars I like my Star Wars, but you have my heart And, I love you! Yes, I love you! ‘Cause you make my grey sky, true blue and I will always love you! Yes, I love you!
8.
Cold Harbor 05:28
I don’t recognize me anymore, I don’t recognize me anymore From a lifetime of secrets, scares & sores, I don’t recognize me anymore How do you cope with so much pain? How do you cope with so much pain? Denial, rage, tears & blame That’s how you cope with so much pain Standing on the edge at Cold Harbor, waitin’ for my ship to come back to me It’s freezing cold, on the sea of lost souls, won’t somebody, rescue me? I don’t wanna, talk about it, don’t really wanna talk about it But it’s a heavy burden, I carry, it’s a, heavy burden I got a deep dark secret, I got a deep dark secret It would hurt a family, so I keep it, I got a deep dark secret Standing on the edge at Cold Harbor, waitin’ for my ship to come back to me It’s freezing cold, on the sea of lost souls, won’t somebody, rescue me? Won’t somebody, rescue me? Won’t somebody, rescue me? I don’t recognize me, anymore
9.
When I was young, I had a special friend You know the one, who never tried to fit in And always listened, to the very best tunes And I always, wanted to be that cool She bought her clothes at the thrift store Long skirts, hoop earrings, jeans that were torn And there were the boys, that came before But it was the girls she liked so much more! Whatever happened to the girl we called the gypsy? Whatever happened to my old friend? Back then it was another world, she wasn’t allowed to like those girls Now I’m left, wondering where she is The girl we called the gypsy, the girl we called the gypsy After school, we would take these long walks We’d share our feelings, during those talks And I will never, never forget that day When she told her mom, she was gay Mom screamed & she stopped the car She banged on the steering wheel, and screamed some more And back at home, she took a knife, to her wrist She said, “I just can’t live with a daughter like this” Now that was some, thirty odd years ago I heard she married a man, and has kids of her own ‘Cause after that day, she was never, quite the same She said, “I’m straight now, it was just a phase!
10.
A Quiet Life 04:02
It’ll be a long road, that turns to a dirt road, up a mountain, in the trees And it will be quiet, and it will be peaceful, with deer & fox, & bumble bees I’ll have a garden, & I will bake bread & I’ll live the life, that I please No more loud noise, only the pure joy, of listening to the wind, kiss the leaves Someday you will find me, reading in the twilight, sitting out under the eaves Watching the sun go down, and the stars come out, smell of honeysuckle, on the breeze Put the kettle on, 180 degrees, pour the water, over the leaves Don’t let it brew too long, it’s like a perfect song, hold the mug, breath the steam Someday you will find me, reading in the twilight, sitting out under the eaves Watching the sun go down, and the stars come out, sipping my green tea It’s taken me a long time, to understand my mind, & get comfortable with me Through the shadows & light, I like the quiet life, only stillness, can breathe Someday you will find me, reading in the twilight, sitting out under the eaves Watching the sun go down, and the stars come out, a quiet life, indeed
11.
It hardly ever snows here, it usually just rains But shoppers keep on shopping, though they call each other names I’m driving on the beltway, I’m headed for the exit lane But this holiday traffic jam is gonna drive me insane It’s on to the shopping mall, I’ve got my Christmas list A wallet full of credit cards, gonna rack up more debt First stop is Starbucks, there’s that new drink to try Tastes of peppermint & chocolate and only costs $7.95 It’s Christmas time in Maryland for this Montgomery County Jew Celebrating Jewish Christmas with a movie & Chinese food All the stores are crowded, holiday cheer is in the air I wave hi to Santa & spill my drink everywhere Now I’m wet & grumpy, a child is screaming in my ear As the choir sings “grandma got run over by a reindeer” All of these sights & sounds, they follow me all around It gets a little hard to think, the holidays are driving me to drink! When I was a little boy, for a Christmas tree I would push ‘cause no matter what they tell you, there’s no such thing as a Hanukkah bush And one more last thing, before this song is through Happy, happy, happy holidays to all the Gentiles & the Jews! It’s Christmas time everywhere for all of the Jews There’s a line at the movies, and they’re running out of Chinese food!
12.
There’s frost on the pumpkin, bare branches on the trees A chilly wind, blows around these fallin’ leaves The tables set, and were awaiting the feast It’s Thanksgiving Day, all the world seems at peace There’s a cat on a couch, and dogs close by Candles burning, as we sit fireside & the air is sweetened, by the smell of baking pies Feeling grateful for hearth & home, tonight Friends are family, and you are welcomed here It makes me smile, when I think of all the years Of lasting friendships, through all the joy & tears Foods on the table, let’s enjoy the meal There’s a cat on a couch, and dogs close by Candles burning, as we sit fireside & the air is sweetened, by the smell of pumpkin pie Feeling grateful for hearth & home, tonight There’s mashed potatoes, & gravy for days, a green bean casserole, & more on the way... Tomorrow’s Black Friday, but we are staying home Turning off the computer & the ringer on the phone We’ll be digging through the boxes, with our dusty memories Pulling out the menorah & the old Christmas tree There’s a cat on a couch, and dogs close by As we decorate the tree, by the lovely candlelight Eating leftovers, & that last slice of pie Feeling grateful for hearth & home, tonight

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In his first full-length album of new music since 2010's Peaceful World, singer-songwriter Steven Gellman is back with Cold Harbor - a concept album exploring the intersection of depression, anxiety, and identity.

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released May 14, 2021

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Steven Gellman New Market, Maryland

“Intensely sensitive and impressively intelligent at the same time. ” Billboard Magazine

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